A Sophisticate Gives Up

Rosa Parks via TIME Magazine 
"The only tired I was, was tired of giving in." Rosa Parks

On December 1, 1955, in Montgomery, Alabama, Rosa Parks rejected bus driver James F. Blake's order to relinquish her seat in the "colored section" to a white passenger, after the whites-only section was filled.

By not giving up her seat, Rosa Park "gave up" on the circumstances and her situation. She "gave up" on the  law and the segregation rules that governed society. By not giving up her seat, she decided that she wasn't going to "give in" to what people thought was "right" or considered moral at the time.

By giving up on a situation that Rosa Parks couldn't control, a situation dictated by someone else, and a situation that was morally and ethically wrong she inspired something deeper in others. She "gave up" on her situation because she wouldn't "give in" on her self-respect and what she believed in. As a result, she  inspired others to not "give in" either. 

Because of the magnitude or weight of unfairness and prejudice of society and the political machine, her one act alone did not result in the  Supreme Court ruling against segregation. Unfortunately, it took more than Rosa Parks to change the law. However, she was the impetus and spark that ignited the flame of change.

Four days later her act inspired the Montgomery Bus Boycott,  a civil rights protest during which black people refused to ride city buses in Montgomery, Alabama. Their act of "giving up" public transportation was  to protest segregated seating. The boycott took place four days after Rosa Parks defied or "gave up" on the law. From December 5, 1955, to December 20, 1956, the Boycott occurred and is regarded as the first large-scale U.S. demonstration against segregation

From one leader to another, Rosa Parks act of not "giving in" inspired Martin Luther King, Jr., a Baptist minister who endorsed nonviolent civil disobedience. Martin Luther King Jr. emerged as leader of the Boycott and a leader for subsequent generations. The actual Boycott resulted in a November 1956 ruling by the Supreme Court that segregation on public buses was unconstitutional.

"If you surrendered to the air, you could ride it." Toni Morrison 

On a personal level, I began to understood the difference between "giving up" and "giving in" when i was going through Chemotherapy appointments The first three days after my Chemotherapy treatment were the hardest battle I had to fight. The evenings were especially bad. At night, my whole body, from inside to out, felt as if it  were on fire. It was so bad, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't focus. In essence, I couldn't fight because I didn't have the mental or physical energy. 

Fighting, even thinking positively, was too much energy. The burning sensation, the heat coming from the inside of my body, was something  As the Chemotherapy treatments progressed my body became weaker and weaker and did not get physically stronger with the  longevity of the treatments. Those nights after Chemotherapy until I could feel better,   I gave up on the hope of surviving and succumbed to the pain. 

"You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down." Toni Morrison
For me, I learned the difference between "giving up" and "giving in". To give up is  to let go  (A Sophisticate Let's Go) of control. It is about giving up trying to control circumstances or situations in one's life or in the world that may be too big for one person. For me, giving up is more about letting go of a physical situation or circumstance a person is in that is toxic or goes against a personal belief or value. Giving up is when you are in so much physical pain, death is a blessing. 

There are times when giving up is okay. A bad relationship, a bad job or career,  or when when the odds seem too big for one person. 

For me impossible situations in life that are too big for one person include curing fatal diseases like cancer, death, and global issues like  climate control, clean water, and equal pay. Those situations need a person who won't "give up" and a collective unified group of people unwilling to give in.

"Don't give in on anything that you believe in." Sophisticate In the Suburbs™

For me, giving in means you are admitting to defeat and conceding to something that is a belief or value. I believe "giving in" is synonymous with "believe in". 

"Giving up and Giving in come down to making a choice. What and who are you willing to fight for and stand up for? I believe, it is the backbone decision that decides the personal fate and possible fate of others involved. It determines whether a Sophisticate is a leader or not. 

Sophistication is a choice. A Sophisticate knows herself. She understands her values and priorities. She knows what and for whom she is willing to fight for in her life.

A Sophisticate NEVER gives in to anything or anyone that goes against her moral code or personal belief system. She knows when to "give up" and what she is willing to "give in" or concede.  In the end, a Sophisticate gives up on people, situations, and circumstances that are either immoral, toxic, and are not good for her. For those people she loves and those intrinsic values she believes in, she never gives in.