A Sophisticate Forgives

According to webster's dictionary 'forgive' is defined as: '1a to give up resentment or of claim to requital for; 1b to grant relief from payment of; 2 to cease to feel resentment against an offender' and the definition of 'forgiveness' is the 'act of forgiving'

Based on personal experiences and how I am as a person because I'm very sensitive therefore, I never really understood what it meant 'to forgive' because I took everything to heart. It was easier for me to leave and never speak or deal with that person or situation again. I believe I never understood it probably because of time and my lack of ability to get close to people since I moved around a lot thereby never learning those essential skills of developing and maintaining relationships.

It wasn't until after college that the definition really took a hold and started to mean something. Why? Because I finally realized and found the people who really did mean something in my life.

It wasn't until just recently that forgiveness became part of who I am because the 'act of forgiving' made me feel better instead of worse. from someone who I respect came the following definition of forgiveness... words of wisdom that I will never forget...

'Forgiveness is a personnel act. you cannot expect or you shouldn't expect that someone will be okay or consider or even appreciate your forgiveness. Forgiveness is for you and you alone. The test of whether you forgive someone is how you feel. If you feel bad and it keeps you from doing everything else that you need to do, it is time to forgive and let go. You need to let go of the situation and completely move on with your life'
'Forgiveness is a sign of maturity and that you are growing as a person.'

No one is perfect and you can't expect them to be. There can't be any expectations from the one you love that they are a perfect anything. when you truly love someone you deal with their faults. The problems that occur in the relationship are natural just as the forgiveness that you give to them. It only when you love someone unconditionally that can you forgive them for the littlest and smallest hurts as well as the worst words spoken or deeds done...' 

Therefore, in my own words the definition of forgiveness is the realization and acceptance that another person as well as yourself are not and can never be perfect. It is the realization that you both have made mistakes, and yet, it is still okay.  

Love is seeing an imperfect person, perfectly. 

Forgiveness is not expecting another person to live up to your ideal and be perfect.

Forgiveness is the realization that you love an imperfect person perfectly because you care about them more than anyone regardless of their imperfections or what words were said or actions were performed. Forgiveness leads to an understanding that can only allow a relationship to grow even deeper with that understanding, that realization, and that ugly truth revealed.... 

What happens after forgiveness? What happens after you decide that you want to forgive and have forgiven? Will it be that everything will be alright? Will it be that that your relationship with that other person has gotten stronger?

The answer for a Sophisticate is what Alexandre Dumas says when he wrote "All human wisdom can be summed up in two words, 'wait and hope'"