When I was in college, I was watching as my friend prepared for her theater class. Her assignment was to act out a story using something that she owned. She took a stuffed animal that was in the shape of Soma heart, put it on the floor, and stepped on it. We couldn't stop laughing. Without words her meaning or actions were clear.
In my experience, when you break up with someone or someone breaks up with you, you feel as if you did when you tried out for a team or had an audition and you weren't good enough. When someone doesn't have the same romantic feelings for you, you feel as if they took your heart, considered it for a second, dropped it on the floor, and stomped on it.
For any Sophisticate having a crush on a boy is a part of growing up. Everyone has had at least one crush in their life. They are fun. When a Sophisticate has a crush there are moments of elation and giddiness. Having feelings for someone is the promise that you could be happy, you don't have to be alone, you could have a best friend that understands and consequently, loves who you are as a person.
The most important part is understanding when it is a crush before the pain of disappointment begins. How do you know when it's a crush? It's hard. It's hard to get them to pay attention to you. You feel like you try and receive nothing back. Although it is better to give than to receive, that rule should not apply in the beginning of a relationship or before you go on a date. Relationships, especially good ones, are easy. They are natural. You fall into a good relationship without trying. You may initially fight or be afraid your feelings at first but after awhile you believe it is worth the risk. The best relationships at least at first come about with ease, without thought, without deciding whether it is the right or wrong decision.
A Sophisticate has no fear and is vulnerable. A true Sophisticate says the words out loud. She doesn't e-mail or text her feelings, she looks him in the eye and tells him how she feels about him. Win or lose, she takes the risk to be hurt to have a crush.
"You set your heart too much on frivolous things and then crash down into despair when you don't get them" Marilla Cuthbert "I know. I can't help flying up on the wings of anticipation. It's as glorious as soaring through a sunset... almost pays for the thud" Anne Shirley from the movie 'Anne of Green Gables' (1985)
You and the person you want to be with in a relationship are powerless and helpless with your feelings towards one other. A crush is when only you are the one who powerless and helpless to your feelings for another person. In the end, a crush is when you are the only one in a relationship.