At the end of one of my many conversations where I was recounting stories of my many bad experiences in love and relationships, someone said something I'll never forget "No one is lucky in love until they find the 'The One'. It was if someone turned on the light. For years, I believed I was unlucky in love because I was too this or too that. More importantly, I believed I was unlucky in love because I was just that unlucky. There was a dark cloud that followed me around with every relationship and would go as far as to believe that I was cursed. With that statement, I didn't feel as unlucky as I originally believed.
"We're miserable because we think that we are mere individuals, alone with our fears and flaws and resentment and mortality" Elizabeth Gilbert from the book "Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India, and Indonesia"
One day, my friend and I were in a bookstore. We were both single and looking at all of the self-help books. She picked up a book about how to find the right person and said "You see this book. It's a waste of money. There is no logic and there is no right way. You live your life and are who you are until you find the right guy" A few weeks later, she met someone. A year later she was married to a man who is her best friend and the love of her life.
"Soul mate: two little words, one big concept. A belief that someone, somewhere, is holding the key to your heart" Candace Bushnell, 'Sex in the City'
People believe that there is a "way to be" to find your soul mate or there are steps to "get the guy". Millions of books are sold and studies are done to what the perfect combination is for a good relationships. Yet, the most successful relationships or marriages don't rely on rules or tricks. If the goal of a Sophisticate is to get married or to have a boyfriend then she reads and follows "The Rules".
"Maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates and guys are just people to have fun with" Candace Bushnell, 'Sex in the City'
The reality is that some people don't understand that soul mates do not just apply to a person who you marry. Soul mates are kindred spirits, those people in your life that you are connected with both spiritually and emotionally. Love is something that a Sophisticate experiences every day. A Sophisticate loves herself, loves her pets, loves her family, loves her friends, and sometimes she loves another person whom she feels a physical attraction.
"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who bring you to your own attention so you can change your life" Elizabeth Gilbert from the book "Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India, and Indonesia"
A Sophisticate is lucky in love because she has people in her life that care about her and that have changed her life in the positive sense. A Sophisticate invitesoptimistic people who are special enough in her heart to help her reflect who she really is and what she could be in life. A Sophisticate is lucky in love because she has love for her pets, her friends, her family, for a spouse, and of course, herself. In the end, a Sophisticate is lucky in love because she has love in her heart.