Sophisticated Dating Stage #4: First Date

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"I may not be your first love, first kiss, first sight or first date but I just want to be your last" Unknown

If meeting for coffee or a drink is 'The Trial', the first date is known as 'The Interview'. If relationships are mapped out as if it were a process (and that is yet to come) then this is the point where the relationship has either just started or will end and you go back to being friends. 

Before the first date if you are friends or better yet, best friends (See Sophisticated Dating Rule #3 'Best Friends'), the odds are in your favor of the first date being a good experience. If you are not friends, if it is a blind date or you went out after being asked out by a seemingly nice stranger, the odds in my opinion are 50/50 that you will enjoy yourself.  You should be excited to be going on a date with someone, if you know them. If you are not excited or don't have a few butterflies of excitement, reconsider going on a date with them.


In my experience, the deciding factor of a first date is the element of surprise. A Sophisticate will always want to limit the element of surprise but not the excitement of unlocking the mystery of getting to know another person. 

Location. When it comes to the location of the first date, my rule of thumb is to go somewhere casual. From experience, there is nothing more uncomfortable then sitting in an expensive restaurant.  Also, it's best for both people to be as relaxed and as much themselves as possible. If you are fake and pretentious on the first date, what happens later when you are truly yourself and realize that the both of you are truly incompatible?

Dinner or Dessert? Beyond other indicators, one telling indicator to whether the date is successful is whether one person asks for dessert. A Sophisticate waits for the man to offer or ask for a dessert menu to determine whether she wants dessert. The first date will probably be on him and you don't want to seem overly greedy if you ask for dessert (the same with an appetizer).

At the end of the first date, a Sophisticate always  at least kisses the other person. If the kiss goes well, there will definitely be a second date. If the kiss is bad or there is no desire to kiss the other person then a second date is highly unlikely ;D!