Sophisticated Love Rule #4: Three Great Loves

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"Gravity is not responsible for people falling in love" Albert Einstein 

When it comes to love the most important rule is that there are no rules. 

Some people believe you have three great loves in your life and other people believe that a person can only have one. If you were to have three great loves in your life they would be classified as either 'Puppy Love', 'First Love' or 'True Love'. 

There may be no rules when it comes to love but there are definitely a few guidelines for dating and   one guideline that is important to aware of as you are falling for someone is to distinguish what type of feelings you may have for someone. 

Beyond it being important to distinguish whether you are just friends, when you are attracted to someone, and when you are in love, there is also what level of affection and intimacy you have for someone else. There is no specific age limit for each love that you have in your life. 


The first level of affection and intimacy that you have for someone is what most people call Puppy love. In general, puppy love would occur when you are little probably before High School. Puppy love is the awakening of feelings for the opposite sex that you never knew existed.


"First love. What adults called puppy love. And what we thought was true love" Anonymous

Puppy love is a love of firsts, first time you hold hands with a boy, first date, and your first kiss. Puppy love is when you pass notes or text the girl or boy you like. It is the homemade Valentine left on the desk of the boy you have a crush on on Valentines Day.

The hardest distinction is knowing when you are experiencing first love versus true love. There is a difference. The difference between your first love and true love is simply this, first love is what I call 'Cerebral' and a surface level feeling. You think and believe you are in love. The elements of love are there yet, there is no depth of feeling that you have inside for that person.


"Women's happiness begins with her first love and ends about then" Anonymous

First love, is that feeling as if your mind is swimming or swooning. When you are apart from them you hardly think of them. Sure, they are on your mind when you reminisce about something that happened but they are akin to a material possession at home that is perfect, beautiful the relationship distinctly belongs to you similar to a material possession at home that is completely yours... flawless, beautiful, and something to show off.

When it is true love, you know that this person is who you are meant to be with for the rest of a life. The relationship goes beyond having someone waiting for you at home, it goes beyond having a best friend, it is having someone you could never imagine or want to imagine your life without. 


True love is a sixth sense, rather than a feeling. Although, a cliche, you feel a physical ache someplace that you never knew existed.You won't even realize you have a soul until it starts physically aching. For those who have experienced true love, you know what I'm talking about.


"This is true love, do you think this happens every day?" from the movie 'The Princess Bride' 

The fact that they are not beside you causes an ache inside of you. The ache is not just a feeling of an attraction, it is a level of intimacy that goes beyond attraction, thought, and emotions. Like hunger or thirst, your body is telling you that there is a need to need to be within a close proximity of the one you love. When you are truly in love, the only remedy to stop the soul's ache, is to be near or be with the other person.


In the end, the greatest love that a Sophisticate has in the 21st Century is the love she has for herself. Of course, when it comes to the love she has for another person a Sophisticate knows that the only rules that exist are the rules that are dictated by her heart.