A Sophisticate and Christian Grey

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“Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me. Perhaps I've spent too long in the company of my literary romantic heroes, and consequently my ideals and expectations are far too high.” E. L. James '50 Shades of Grey'


From the first time I heard about the popular trilogy '50 Shades of Grey', I was intrigued. Each cover had a different image a tie, a mask, and handcuffs. Merely looking at each cover I could guess the storyline of the story. It seemed that every woman loved these books so why shouldn't I?

The first 100 pages were intense even though nothing happened between the two main characters Christian Grey and Miss Steele. Although I knew what I was getting into before I began reading '50 Shades of Grey', I reacted to the material very differently than most of the women who read the book. Miss Steele is 22 year old woman mesmerized and attracted to a young, good looking, billionaire. Impressed with the beautiful clothes, living arrangements, and helicopters that his money can buy she signs a voluntary agreement  allowing for bondage, domination, and sadism.

As I skipped ahead in the book, I couldn't help but see parallels between '50 Shades of Grey' and what I read in 'A Stolen Life' by Jaycee Lee Dugard. Obviously, there are major differences Miss Steele was older than 9 years old, Christian Grey is a billionaire instead of a convict,  Miss Steele volunteered to be submissive to him and finally, one is non-fiction and the other is fiction or fantasy. Even though it is a fictional book, I wondered whether voluntary or not it is okay for a woman to be tied up and be subordinate and submissive to a man's sexual desire.

I've dated men who were independently wealthy. I've met business men who were controlling, manipulative, and those who had the desire to want to  women in a subordinate position. Those men and those experiences were not romantic or fun.


The character of Christian Grey helps a Sophisticate figure out what she wants in a man. Given that no one is perfect and they have their own inner demons, what does she want? Does she want someone who is controlling? Does she want someone confident? Does she want someone who is physically and emotionally strong? Does she want someone wealthy? Does she want someone mysterious? Does she want someone who has greater value in his heart rather than his bank account? 


In the end, a Sophisticate in the 21st Century knows that in a relationship it's her choice whether she is submissive and subordinate to the wants and needs of the man she loves. ;D