Sophisticated Love Lesson #10: My Fair Lady

www.jungelredwriters.com
"Marry some sentimental hog or other with lots of money, and a thick pair of lips to kiss you with and a thick pair of boots to kick you with." from 'Pygmalion' by George Bernard Shaw

The two male characters Henry Higgins and Freddy Eynsford-Hill are both polar opposites. They treat Eliza Doolittle as if she were special in different ways. To show his affection or adoration, Freddy buys Eliza flowers, quotes poetry, and hangs outside her door waiting for her. Freddy is polished and romantic. On the other hand, Henry Higgins is boorish, rude, tactless but honest. He saw and knew Eliza as a flower girl and still loved her.  Henry Higgins saw her at her worst, knew her imperfections and  loved her strength and desire to be independent. When he realized how much she didn't need him, he suddenly realized he needed her.

Adore (v.)  in Webster's Dictionary is 1. To worship or honor as a deity or as divine 2. To regard with loving admiration and devotion 3. To be very fond of.

Freddy Eynsford-Hill or Henry Higgins? A Sophisticate has to answer for herself whether she wants to be adored or loved by someone.

There are those men who are romantic. There are men who shower a Sophisticate with expensive gifts and tells her  all day that they love her. Some men are poetic and take a Sophisticate to nice restaurants.  He places a Sophisticate on a pedestal and  in the end they adore a true Sophisticate. On the other hand, some men are romantic as a way to control a Sophisticate before she discovers his true colors (See Love Lesson #2: The Mask).

"True love is when you put someone on a pedestal, and they fall - but you are there to catch them" Unknown

There is nothing wrong for a man to be romantic, polished, and perfect or seemingly perfect (since no one is perfect). Those attributes are okay so long as he sees a Sophisticate as more than just a pretty face or a successful business woman. Beauty fades and money runs out. In love, a Sophisticate and the man she is seeing must be able to see and love the other person at their worst to truly be in love.

A Sophisticate is not perfect (See 'Effortless Perfection'). The ability for a man to be perfect or seemingly perfect may eventually lead him to want a Sophisticate to always be perfect. That adoration or expectation of perfection  may lead to resentment in the long run.     Knowing and experiencing imperfections with one another in a relationship determine love versus adoration.

Most men express their love through actions. A Sophisticate knows that although looks may fade and success is fleeting actions to show he cares last forever. Since I live alone knowing I can depend on someone makes me feel special.

Sophisticated Love Lesson #10: My Fair Lady: A Sophisticate wants a man who treats her and makes her feel like she is special. Feeling special could mean romance, it could mean adoration, and it could mean that he is there when she needs him when she is at her worst. A Sophisticate knows the difference between romance and love.

In the end, a  Sophisticate knows that love means that actions speak louder than words. ;D