Sophisticated Dating Stage #12: Single or Married?

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"I like being single, I'm always there when I need me" Art Leo 

When a Sophisticate is engaged she has been given chance to be loved. When a Sophisticate is married, she has the opportunity for unconditional love.

Sometimes it is the destiny of a Sophisticate to be single forever. And that is okay. Advantages and Disadvantages exist for those who are single and for those who are married. Even though to have a chance at love and unconditional love is ideal, either situation is neither better or worse. 


In the 21st Century, a Sophisticate can decide her own fate. A woman can own a house, be a single mom, have a successful career, and obtain whatever educational degree she desires. Unlike any century, the opportunities for a Sophisticate in this century are endless. Although, not at the same time, a Sophisticate can have it all. There are becoming more and more women as role models who are able to have it all at the same time. I believe throughout the 21st Century that number among women will grow.

Either way, in the 21st Century a Sophisticate has a choice.
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"The trouble is not that I am single and likely to stay single, but that I am lonely and likely to stay lonely" Charlotte Bronte

Lonely is to be 'sad because one has no friends or company'. Even married there will be times when a Sophisticate will be alone. There is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Loneliness comes down to a state of mind.

A Sophisticate can be lonely single or married.

A husband can physically be in a room with a Sophisticate but absent emotionally. That absence can cause loneliness. A Sophisticate must have her own life at the very least so that when she does talk to her husband there is something to talk about. Loneliness can happen to anyone at any time. Being lonely does not depend on your 'relationship status'.

A woman I met didn't get married until she was in her early thirties. She had  a son and was married for twenty years when her husband died. She stated that she was grateful for the time she had with him. She was also grateful that she had been single. She realized that if she had never been single she never would have been able to take care of herself.  Although, she grew up in a different generation, she brought out a good point.

Life is unstable, unpredictable, and ever changing. One minute you are happy and then the next moment tragedy strikes. Divorce, death, severe illness can happen at a moments notice. For that reason, it is important that if a Sophisticate chooses to get married she knows and has the means to be able to take care of herself both financially and emotionally.

"I think we are going to have to love ourselves. Darn it" Liz Tuccillo

Sophisticated Dating Stage #12: Single or Married: A Sophisticate single or married,  is independent and not dependent on anyone. Most importantly, whether single or married, she isn't dependent on anyone else for love except herself.  In the end, whether she has the chance of unconditional love in her life after being married or in a relationship for several years (Sophisticated Love Lesson #12: Unconditional Love), or she is single,  the greatest love in her life (beyond the love she has for her parents and children) is  the love she has for herself, single or married. ;D