Sophisticated Love Rule #12: Moving In

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"Someone once said that two halves make a whole. And when two halves move in together, it makes a whole lot of stuff."  Carrie Bradshaw 'Sex in the City'

One of my favorite episodes of 'Sex in the City' was 'The Good Fight'. The episode shows the humorous side of moving in with someone. The reason I liked the episode is because it shows the balance of staying true to who you are and compromise. 

In an ideal situation, you both agree on everything and have perfect complimentary schedules. Unfortunately, that is sometimes not the case. A Sophisticate lives in a bubble fixing up the house and even decorating

As more and more women live by themselves before they move in with someone else, the more they become having their 'alone time' to breathe, think, and to be able to do  her 'secret single behavior' without fear of being judged.

As was true in the time of Virgina Woolf, a Sophisticate needs a room of her own. When living with someone a Sophisticate needs her emotional space of her own as much as she needs her physical space in the relationship. A Sophisticate should have a physical room or space in the house where she can scrapbook, knit, work, or read to keep her interests alive.  Emotionally, women like men need their space and alone time.  

When is a good time for the both of you to move in? Ideally, when you are married. In reality, it is when it is assumed that an engagement is right around the corner. Love and chemistry happen so quickly between two people that it is not hard for either of you to jump into something that you may or may not be ready to handle.

If so, probably when you are engaged. During the engagement period, you are  sure that you are on the way to get married yet, there is still time to decide to call it quits (Sophisticated Dating Stage #11: Engagement or Involvement).

"That’s the thing about needs. Sometimes, when you get them met, you don’t need them anymore." Michael Patrick King from 'Sex in the City' episode 'The Good Fight'

Living with someone gives a Sophisticate insight into herself as well as the person she is marrying. Living with someone exposes each person to potential deal breakers. A Sophisticate does not move in with someone to figure out whether she and the person she is seeing are compatible. (Sophisticated Dating Stage #5: Pink Flags)

When moving in, a Sophisticate and the man she has fallen in love with need two things:

1- A reason
2- A commitment 

A Sophisticate needs a reason more than she wants them around all the time. Are you spending each night together. Has an overnight bag turned into space in a closet reserved just for them? Is the commute too long?

A commitment because a marriage is not just a spiritual and romantic partnership, but a financial partnership. Legally if your name is not on the lease   and you are not married you are not entitled to half of the selling price. 

Sophisticated Love Rule #12: Moving In:  A Sophisticate moves in with the person she is in love with when the relationship progresses to the point of an assumed commitment such as engagement or marriage. In the end, she moves in physically and emotionally into a house and the relationship when she is ready to take on the responsibility of compromise.