There came a point in my life when I didn't believe that success was possible. After years of trying my best, studying, and feeling rejected I felt for the first time in my life that success was impossible. Every Sophisticate has felt at least once in their life that success is impossible. To feel as if you might never achieve anything in your life is a hopeless place to exist that must be overcome. Life is not about just surviving or living to the next day it is about thriving and succeeding.
According to the author Susan Scott of Fierce Conversations, our interpersonal difficulties at work and at home are a direct result of our inability to communicate well. In the book, the definition of a ‘Fierce Conversation’ is one in which 'we come out from behind ourselves, into the conversation, and make it real' ... By the end of this book, you will have become highly skilled at crafting deeply rewarding professional and personal relationships- one conversation at a time’
A Sophisticate is fierce not because she is resilient but because she is able to face herself and the reality that life presents to her every day. A Sophisticate is diplomatic but she focuses on reality each day and more importantly, one conversation at a time. A Sophisticate does not hide from the truth and faces the truth one person and one conversation at a time. In any situation she is not afraid.
The book Fierce Conversations talks about being able to successfully deal with our relationships and succeed in life one conversation at a time. Each conversation shapes our life. If we converse as another person we would probably get another person's life or a life that is not what we want or our own. It means for a Sophisticate that she is realistic at all times with herself and others even at the expense of making herself sound stupid or silly.
Sometimes a Sophisticate may be one way at work and another way at home. According to Susan Scott, that is wrong. A Sophisticate needs to be authentic, and needs to be herself whether at work or at home otherwise she will have the wrong job and have a personal life that she does not want.
The concept of having authentic conversations may seem ridiculous. When we were children we were ourselves, we were authentic and confident. Over time we hide what we feel or what we mean so that we may appear smarter or more important. There is nothing more important for a Sophisticate than being happy and ending up with the right life. Without authentic conversations with each person all we have is a life that is more and more what we don't want it to be.
Being authentic doesn't mean being rude, disrespectful, or saying what we want. Being fierce is being ourselves with everyone and taking into consideration every conversation we have with someone whether it be with a stranger in passing or at a meeting or in a marriage. Each conversation is equally important and a Sophisticate is not afraid of saying what is real and authentic. Being fierce is saying what we feel is true without fear of judgment or reprisal.
What is Sophistication in the 21st Century? Being true to yourself and the uniqueness that makes you special. In the end, a Sophisticate is fierce.