A Sophisticate gets Engaged

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"A proposal is a promise. An engagement is defining and living that promise"  Sophisticate in the Suburbs

A Sophisticate sparkles. There is no time when she sparkles or shines the brightest when someone she loves, loves her. When she is proposed to there is no time when she shines the brightest. Then come engagements. Engagements are the time period when you plan for a lifetime together. The major focus shouldn't be how many people to invite to the wedding rather it should be how many children you both want to support and love. Engagements are when you start working and living your future together as a team. Proposals are a moment of happiness. Engagements are few months to a year of happiness determining whether you should get married. 

"Marriage is worth more than any amount spent on a diamond ring. True love is priceless" Sophisticate in the Suburbs

Getting married and having a wedding are two different events. Marriage is a life together with your best friend. A wedding is a diamond and a party.


Proposals aren't special. The fact that someone a Sophisticate loves more than life itself, someone she wants to grow old with feels the exact same way. As if time stops, for one moment a Sophisticate is introduced to the idea that someone loves her and wants to spend the rest of their life with her.


For me, proposals mean more than marriage vows. Marriage vows cement the foundation that has been created by a proposal. Marriage vows, the setting, the actual vows are standard whereas the setting of a proposal is unique to each relationship. 

A proposal is a unique gift that is simple, understated yet, powerful. 

In the 21st Century, a Sophisticate doesn't propose. Traditionally, it is the man. That's okay. A Sophisticate is still the center or focus of the attention of the man she loves.

For about 5- 10 minutes, the world stops. When a Sophisticate realizes that she is in love, she no longer feels alone set adrift and separate from everything. A proposal is when everything comes into focus, mainly that a Sophisticate is truly one with someone else.

For a man proposing to a Sophisticate, there are two things to ask when trying to decide how to make it special:

1- What do you both enjoy doing together? What is your shared interest?
2- How did you meet?

"If getting married were hard as getting divorced people would think twice before walking down the aisle."  Sophisticate in the Suburbs

How does a Sophisticate know whether she should marry the person who proposed to her? 

When a man puts an enormous amount of time and effort into a proposal, a Sophisticate should be reasonably assured of a 'happily ever after. Also, if the 'Cloud 9' feeling she has after the proposal lasts until the time you walk down the aisle, it's a good indication of marriage bliss. However,  if a Sophisticate feels any doubt or lack of excitement hours, a day, a week, or month after the proposal a Sophisticate should end the engagement immediately. 

Engagements are a good time to end the relationship. Engagements force the issue of the commitment of the relationship. There is a reason why they call it 'Engage'ment instead of 'Involve'ment (Sophisticated Dating Stage #11: Engagement or Involvement). Engagements are when a Sophisticate explores and starts to live with her future partner the level of commitment that will be continued for the rest her life with the man she loves.

The engagement period for a Sophisticate is when she has truthful conversations about her life with the man she loves.   After the engagement, marriage and divorce become a lot more complicated and harder to leave both financially and legally.

The ring he gives a Sophisticate. Is it the one she wanted? Is it engraved? Is it his mothers or grandmothers ring? The type of jewelry he gives her reflects how he feels about her. Why is that rule is exemplified through the ring he proposes with? Because a Sophisticate will be wearing that ring every day until the day she dies. Why would he give a Sophisticate something she doesn't want to be part of something as permanent as her own finger?

If a Sophisticate likes white gold (and mostly wear white gold) and he gives  her gold, it's a pink flag. He doesn't know you. Is a Sophisticate going to take the biggest step towards a commitment with someone who doesn't know her?

A Sophisticate says 'yes' when she knows the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with wants to do the same.  In the end, a Sophisticate gets engaged when both are engaged to commit and the meaning behind the proposal is a promise to be the last person they see before they die. ;D