The Power of Praxis

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"When I'm stuck with a day, that's gray and lonely, I just stick out my chin, and grin and say, the sun'll come out; Tomorrow; So ya gotta hang on" 'Tomorrow' from the musical 'Annie' 

In the beginning I knew that this lesson was going to be another hard lesson for me. Although, a Sophisticate believes (A Sophisticate Believes), I wasn't 100% sure I believed. 


"I think you're a good person. I know a lot of people have told you that you're not and maybe you heard it so many times told you started believing it. You can't let people tell you who you are, you have to decide that for yourself" from 'Lost' Season 6 Episode 17

Growing up my mother projected her own insecurities and fear of failure onto me. My mother who was supposed to love me unconditionally never believed I could achieve anything I tried to accomplish. She would pop my hopes like a bubble. She told everyone else that she believed in me yet, she never directly told me. She may have been trying to be realistic but for me it was painful. 

When your own mother doesn't believe in you, how could you ever believe in yourself? 


With every 'nay-sayer' I heard my mothers projection of disappointment and failure. Unfortunately the older  I got, the louder the 'nay-sayers' became   rather than the voices of those who believed in me. From the time I was fourteen until now I  worked not to succeed but to prove everyone wrong. My life and any success I achieved was not based on the confidence I had in myself but towards proving everyone wrong. 


Proving everyone wrong was negativity coming into my life. Negativity I was allowing to With a new love in my life, I found someone believed in me more than anyone had in the past including my parents. The next step? I knew I had to believe in myself more than he believed in me.


The Power of Praxis is the integration of belief with behavior. My belief was not being integrated with my behavior. There was still a disconnect within the first week. Coaching from Andy Kostow in the beginning of the second week made me realize that my impatient behavior that I was exhibiting with the ones I loved was because of incessant worry. Worry is fear. I was rushing and going back to old behaviors because I still doubted within myself that my goals were attainable. 


"The world ain't sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and O don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!" from Rocky Balboa

My coach Andy Kostow had me write a page from 'As a Man Thinketh' by James Allen. The serenity portion states 'Tempest-tossed souls, wherever ye may be, under whatsoever conditions ye may live, know this - in the ocean of life the isles of Blessedness are smiling, and the sunny shore of your ideal awaits your coming. Keep your hand firmly upon the helm of thought." 

The repetition of writing helped me believe. When I learned to come back to rational thought, when I began to calm down, and trust in ability to achieve in my goals, and have hope in my dreams coming true, I began to truly believe. 


"Without hope or knowledge there is no belief."



Finally, for each goal I wrote down "Why I believe". It was amazing how fast and concise I wrote why I believed each of my goals were attainable. The verbiage mostly had to do with the phrase "I know". Why do I believe? Because I know the undeniable truths in my life.. In the end, I believe because  I know the power within myself. ;D