A Sophisticate Cares


“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference" Elie Wiesel

One day I was watching a friend perform on stage.  He was was receiving accolades left and right. Sitting in the audience for the first time, I felt excitement as if I were the one receiving the accolades. There was no jealousy,  no desire to be part of the accolades, I was not going to reap any benefit from the accolades, it went beyond feeling as if he deserved it. My respect for him was there even before I met first met him. It dawned on me that I had either evolved to the point of selflessness (not likely) or I finally understood what it meant to care about someone and maybe even love them. 

"Self care is not self indulgence. Self care is self respect" -Gateway- Women.com

A Sophisticate must love herself aka be independent to love another person. The reason is simple, the true test of love is being happy for another person without any expectation of return. A Sophisticate who is self-sufficient,  financially and emotionally independent, doesn't need another person for happiness. 

The unexpected happiness felt for someone else is joy. (A Sophisticate is Happy). Once joy is experienced not caring is not an option. You can never be truly be indifferent.

In the 21st Century where exposure is almost vital to survival, a Sophisticate doesn't need another person to help or promote them. She doesn't need what another person can give her, she only wants the other person imperfections and all.

"Love is caring about the welfare and success of another person not out of self-interest but out of the appreciation of who they really are." Sophisticate in the Suburbs

When someone truly loves another person, they don't love a memory, they don't love the fame or fortune another person brings to the table. Memories fade, people change, fame, and fortune can be gone in a blink of an eye. It is loving the goodness of another person and more importantly  the respect a Sophisticate has for another person that creates the ability to care and thus the bond between two individuals.

"Love is when you care about someone simply because you believe in them" Sophisticate in the Suburbs

The wedding vows "For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health" always seemed unoriginal to me. There are so many other better ways of stating that  true commitment is understanding that  money pails in comparison to the love of another person. Words that better reflect the idea of wealth or poverty, sickness or good health, love exists so long as the other person exists. 

"Love is caring for each other even when you're angry" Unknown

When a Sophisticate loves someone, they know the other person can't give them anything. The greatest gift another person can give her is simply themselves. That is why when a Sophisticate loves someone she wants them to be free. (All  a Sophisticate Wants (in Love)) Freedom, distance, or death can not stop  the feelings she has for the person she cares for or rather loves.

The ironic part is that caring for someone has a lot  to do with a loss of hope. Caring begins when hope is lost aka there is no logical reason for her to concern herself with another person. Yet there is a pull, a connection felt deep inside  that she cannot  let go of and cannot deny.

"Caring is the hearts decision to be loved in return." Sophisticate in the Suburbs

Caring is painful and if not returned a Sophisticate can be crushed (A Sophisticate has a Crush) and that is the risk. Caring is the risk only some are brave enough to take. It is the risk that people talk about when they talk about about love because there is no in-between To care of someone else  means she will be cared for return or she will feel his indifference.

"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without" from the movie "Meet Joe Black"

That risk creates fear, anger, and sadness. When a Sophisticate cares about another person  logic doesn't exist. The other person evokes out of a Sophisticate healthy positive emotions, such as passion and desire.  

A Sophisticate cares because she holds  deep respect for who another person regardless of their imperfections. A Sophisticate cares because her belief in their "perfections" or good qualities allow for a concern when they are in pain.

In the end, a Sophisticate cares and therefore loves because the other person exists. ;D