A Sophisticate is Vain

Artist Martha Dahlig 
"Vanity and pride are different things. though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would  have others think of us" Jane Austen 

Vanity is represented by a mirror. When it comes to actual furniture, a dresser with a mirror is commonly called a vanity. There are numerous legend and tales warning about the pitfall of vanity. There is the Greek legend of Narcissus. Narcissus was so fascinated and in love with his reflection in the water he drowned. Then there is Hans Christian Anderson's "The Emperors New Clothes" exemplifying the lesson of how excessive pride can allow us to become delusional and make us look a fool to others if we let it. 

Finally, another famous story about vanity is the famous fictional story "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen. The character of Mr. Darcy was my favorite because my perspective of his character changed from the beginning to the end of the story. 

In the beginning, the reader appears to think he is prejudice against anyone who is not wealthy. The reader discovers that Mr. Darcy is really a deeply loving and sensitive person. The reality is he vain. He puts on a facade that turn most people away because cares too much what other people think of him.

"Loving yourself isn't vanity it is sanity" Andre Gide

Elizabeth Bennett is secure with herself enough to not care what other people think. Elizabeth Bennett eventually learns with her younger sisters improper and impetuous marriage that there is value in caring what people think. Mr. Darcy learns to be vulnerable enough to be himself and not care what others think. In short, as similar as they are because of the lesson of vanity, they grow together in mutual admiration and love.


"It is nothing but our vanity that deceives us" Jane Austen

Vanity comes from sadness and insecurity. A feeling of being unloved forces us to seek or pursue love. Someone may be vain due to criticism as a child and never feeling accepted from those typically, family who were supposed to accept  them.

"The opposite of vanity is humility." Sophisticate in the Suburbs

To be vain is a form of greed (A Sophisticate is Avarice) where the perceived value is admiration and the actual value is something that is much shallower and fleeting, attention.As an adult they become vain striving and continually pursuing the acceptance they never received. 

When a pursuit for love becomes an ambition and it comes at the cost of hurting others then it is considered bad, evil, or a sin.

"Some people aren't really all that they "post" to be." Unknown

After telling my mother my "stats"  she said to me  "Forget your stats, likes or follows and focus on your writing. That is more important."  What she meant was, keep focused on what is important. I also believe that she also meant if you focus on writing  love what you write, there will be no need to focus on stats, likes, or fans, or followers they will just come.

Vanity on Social Media revolve around "stats", followers, and fans. 

Vanity on Social Media is about posting anything to get likes. The times I know I'm being vain is when I ask myself "What can I post to get more followers? What can I post that will get a lot of likes?" As one article I read once said, Narcissus would be on Instagram 24/7 posting anything and everything with the sole purpose of getting a like, followers, or fans.  


Vanity is when you post something that is not authentically "You" just to get likes. For 

example, if you love sports and hate pink or wearing a dress yet, you post pics of wearing a dress because you think it will gain more "likes" or "followers"  that is vanity.

Whether on social media or not, vanity is okay for her to be proud of herself and have personal admiration of her accomplishments.  In the end, a Sophisticate is vain because she loves herself to the point of accepting herself but not so much that she excessively pursues the love and acceptance of others. ;D