A Sophisticate is Wrath

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"Anger is sadness turned inside out" Sophisticate in the Suburbs 

My first visit to the Psychologist when I was twelve (A Sophisticate is Bullied) was  an intimidating one. After he introduced himself he told me to talk about how I was feeling and what was going on in my life. He didn't say much until the very end when finally he said something that was to be our "jumping off point" for the rest of our sessions yet it ended up remaining with me the rest of my life. He said "Anger turned inside out is sadness." In other words, he implied was that my depression was a result of the suppression of my anger. 


"The definition of upset means both sadness and anger" Sophisticate in the Suburbs

For the rest of my life 
whenever I became sad or angry, I reminded myself of that statement.  In high school I started to   grow angry but playing sports helped lessen it. Exercise "exorcised" my demons. The physical exertion left me too tired to get upset.. Upset being sad or angry. After college when exercise grew harder to find time for because I was working full time, instead of getting sad I became angry. With positive reinforcement of my anger, my temper was unleashed and it seemed Pandora's box had been opened never to be closed again. 

"Exercise "exorcise" your demons" Sophisticate in the Suburbs

While  working with my life coach +Andy Kostow  several years later, I learned a major impediment to my success was my lack of patience. My lack of patience caused a myriad of issues including the release of my temper. As I worked with Andy, I gained more patience through books to help me understand myself. I learned listening to music, dancing or singing   "soothes the savage beast" inside and made me happy. My anger gradually became less but still hadn't disappeared. It seemed e
xercise or my life coach couldn't end my anger. 


As it turns out, my anger ended with appreciation and the knowledge that I am loved for who I am from people who are not my parents. (Knowing vs. Feeling Love). 

A Sophisticate get's angry because it's a natural human emotion. Similar to any man who has a temper, she has one too. The problem, is that even in the 21st Century women are told anger is inappropriate or wrong. There is a certain level of anger that will keep a Sophisticate protected. (A Sophisticate is Street Smart)

At the end of Disney's Moana, the ancient gem belonging to the living mother Te Fiti was found in her heart. When her heart was stolen she turned into a monster spewing fire and hurting anyone who dared come near her. 

"Depression is the result of the suppression of one's anger" Sophisticate in the Suburbs

This is a perfect analogy of anger. When a Sophisticate feels her heart, object of her desire or love whether it be a person or an object, has been stolen aka she feels hurt or betrayed she begins to lash out. Some men use anger  to control and intimate others, a Sophisticate uses anger to express frustration from disappointment or lash out from pain or sadness. 

The problem with anger is that when a Sophisticate is angry for too long, it starts to feel as if she is being worn away. It eventually eats away at her emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Too much anger for too long kills her spirit and fills her with regret.

During Lent, a Sophisticate must give up something in repentance of her sins. One of her sins is anger (A Sophisticate is a Sinnerbecause she lashes out and hurts people. That fault is a result of her imperfect nature (A Sophisticate is Imperfect) and that imperfection is wrong and damaging to others and as well as herself. 

A Sophisticate sins and those sins may describe her at a particular moment but in the end, she is strong enough not to allow them to define her. ;D