I'm frustrated, feeling as if I have no time, and worst of all no say. I'm driving home from work after a long day all the while thinking about what I'm going to say and do as I approach my house. Even though I still have a month to pack and get ready to move based upon the agreed upon date, it is still my house and yet, I'm forced to park as if I were only a visitor.
As I walk in my black trench coat and the skirt blow in the wind. Black heels, stockings, and my hair in a tight ponytail. My face taunt, and my eyes blaze with hatred. My eyeliner speaks what I cannot say, I'm a cat ready to hiss at my predators who are entering into my territory. My territory at least for another month.
No one to fight this or any other battle for me (A Sophisticate is Princess Charming). As I enter there are no pleasantries "What are you doing?" I ask the relators and new owner. "Do I not have this house until next month? I was given zero notification.Technically I could call the police since you are trespassing, correct?" My hearing returns and all I hear is a garage of apologies but my anger makes me deaf. "Please leave." As the they leave I slam the door behind them.
It was then I nicknamed myself on behalf on what I assumed their perspective or opinion was of me "The Wicked 'B' of the East".
The sad truth is that I went from being bullied to being the bully. One piece of advice my mother gave me, that I came to realize as an adult was that a woman has to be nasty to earn respect. Whether it be the 20th Century or 21st Century, even when calm, a man's voice and presence still commands more fear than does a woman.
The difference between someone who is Sophisticated and one is not is whether they are able to endure the battles and not become bitter or angry (A Sophisticate is Precious). I know what Sophistication means, because I'm not Sophisticated.
What incites my anger? What makes me "Wicked Bad"? Sadness. (A Sophisticate is Wrath) Sadness from pain inflicted from others. When drawing what I wanted to convey with words for this post, my rudimentary sketches included a woman crying and as her tears hit her heart, her heart melted away. It is when the tears stop and the heart has melted to the point where my heart is gone, that is when I turn to my next closely associated emotion of passion,
What incites the other half of me? What makes me "Wicked Good"? Sadness. (A Sophisticate Get's Over Herself) When I'm sad because I am pitying myself I take my mother's advice and do good for others.
When I was sick, both came into play and I finally learned balance. I saw tragedy every where I went because that is reality. There was sadness I felt by the harshness inflicted by others but there was a constant reminder as I looked around that I was lucky. There were so many people who had it worse than me.
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions." English Proverb
Evil is being wicked when the intention is to inflict pain for no reason at all. Kindness is being wicked good when the intention is to be good to someone for no reason at all.
"Good and evil come down to a plan" Sophisticate in the Suburbs™
There are moments when my "Wicked Bad" self reemerges but now only for self preservation and survival. Now, my "Wicked Bad" self has true thoughtful intention behind it.
In the end, it is strength of character that prevails and a Sophisticate only shows her wicked side when it comes to the intention for good not evil.