A Sophisticate has a Broken Heart

Photo: Julia Davila-Lampe
"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." from 'The Wizard of Oz'

Whether it be failed relationships or the death of a loved one, one feeling  never changes for a Sophisticate and that is heartache. 

For me  Heartbreak is sadness,  disappointment or a loss of hope from an ending that can never  begin again.  Heartache  is  more than sadness, it is a feeling of being abandoned that makes a Sophisticate feel physical pain.

"The most bitter people when it comes to life are those who once had dreams. The most bitter people when it comes to love are those who once who had hope." Sophisticate in the Suburbs™

One evening in college I was at a friend's house telling her about my upcoming assignment for Theater class. I had to take an inanimate object from home and act out a story using no spoken words. My friend quickly looked around her room and found a stuffed animal in the shape of a heart. She dropped it on the floor and stomped on it with her foot. We erupted in laughter. 

The reason we both found it  funny was because of the truth of the action. When you've been hurt in love, it feels like someone has ripped out your heart, tossed it on the floor, and not just stepped but stomped on it. 

Wherever the term "heartache" came from  it doesn't reflect what it actually feels like. For a Sophisticate it is more than an "ache", it is an actual physical pain. It feels as if someone were squeezing a Sophisticate's heart so hard she can't breath. 

"A little fall of rain will make the flowers grow" from "A Little Fall of Rain" Les Misérables

The ironic part of a heartache is the word. How can a Sophisticate feel an ache when there is nothing left after her heart has been taken from her? The best cure for a heartache are tears. As with any wound, the salt from her tears heals the wound after her heart has been metaphorically ripped out of her chest. A Sophisticate's tears are the rainfall that help another stronger heart grow in its place. 

"A heartache can't exist without a heart that aches with love" Sophisticate in the Suburbs

Love is the little things. The small practical gifts that show that you care or that you listened. It is laughter, the inside joke that no one else knows. Heartache is the silence that is left when the laughter is over. A silence that drags a Sophisticate into  a pit of sadness. She will try to crawl back to the good times but in the end she knows deep down the good times went forever unreachable  as she falls continually back into nothingness. 

Separation is similar to a  "drug withdrawal". Studies have shown that in monogamous animals, cohabiting and mating increase levels of oxytocin and vasopressin—hormones that foster emotional attachments—and activate brain areas associated with reward. As a result, when prairie voles are separated from their partners even for a short time, they experience with­drawal-like symptom" ("Why It Hurts to Be Away from Your Partner" Scientific American) 

Consider what might happen when  a Sophisticate has a connection (Connection vs. Chemistry) with someone that is strong and the separation is permanent? 

One break-up with someone I had dated for three and a half years, I got over in mere hours whereas another person who I dated three months was so painful I began to vomit.  The deeper the connection, the deeper the pain when separated. 

Life is a matter of perspective and true love never dies. When a person physically dies memories keep them alive forever. In terms of relationships, heartache or having a broken heart is a facade because a Sophisticate can't lose a love that she never had in the first place.

In the end, although a Sophisticate thinks she has a broken heart, it is really only a relationship that broken to begin with because together with the one person who loves her she is all heart when it comes to true love. ;D