Hard to Get or Hard to Forget?

    Jackie Kennedy Onassis 

"Sometimes our walls exist just to see who has the strength to knock them down." Darnell Lamont Walker 

Obsessive. Annoying. Desperate. Needy. Clingy. Words I've heard a million times about myself from men I've liked. 

My Aunt told me when dating my problem was I was too accessible to men. She told me that I should be mysterious, withhold information about myself, and make them wait for me. My problem she said, was that I was an open book. I revealed "too much, too fast", she said. In essence, she said, I should make them "work for it".

As an adult, my mother told me a harsh truth about myself that I may be financially independent, but I was emotionally dependent. Yet, I was not vulnerable enough to trust or let any man get close. Once a man got close, an invisible and impenetrable wall was erected. Maybe, I merely like the chase. Maybe, almost to a fault, my game plan is playing hard to forget. 

In dating, is it better for a Sophisticate to be an open book and  share her feelings? Or it is better for her to be mysterious, create a challenge, and withhold information? 

A Sophisticate is not obsessive. To be or act in a Sophisticated manner is not being obsessive or having an obsession over another person. Obsession is the line or "balance" that crosses over into something being a sin (A Sophisticate is Lust).

A Sophisticate knows the art of being charming. It is charm not obsession that wins everyone over. She blossoms.  A Sophisticate allows herself to shine with her energy and goodness. She is vulnerable allowing her faults to shine through knowing that even if no man loves her for her faults, she will love herself and will be enough


Playing hard to get comes downs to needs and wants.

What does a Sophisticate need? A ring? A promise of love? A wedding?
What does a Sophisticate want? True love? A commitment? A partner?

Playing hard to get may get you "the ring" and a proposal but it does not guarantee love. Nothing guarantees love more than being who a she is, unapologetically.  True love of oneself or from another only comes from being apologetically yourself.

Unlike  what Lady Gaga may have said in her song, "Poker Face" dating is not a "Poker Game"  where she withholds herself in order to win the jackpot of a wedding ring. A Sophisticate lays all of her cards out when dating. When dating, she is herself, nothing more, nothing less. A Sophisticate opens herself up and does not lie to the person she dates. 

"Marriage is financial, love is emotional, and true love is eternal." Sophisticate in the Suburbs

The only invisible wall a Sophisticate puts up is a wall of imperfection. She builds a wall of imperfections to  see whether a man will be strong enough to walk through that wall, break that barrier, and risk being seen and even better loving only her.

A Sophisticate would rather be loved for who she is then have a status on Facebook. Only a Sophisticate who is emotionally independent (A Sophisticate is 'Miss Independent') is charming rather than obsessive. Only a Sophisticate plays the game of hard to forget, in showing the best and worst of herself. In the end, good or bad, for better or for worse, when a Sophisticate doesn't play hard to get a Sophisticate will be hard to forget. ;D